Under hashtags such as #ThatGirl, #ItGirl, #CleanGirlAesthetic, you can find very specific trends on social media, especially on TikTok, where these trends appeared. They consist of videos in which mainly girls share their routines, which are very particular.

They wake up at 5 am in huge beds, drive to elegant gyms in their own cars, take showers in bathrooms that resemble hotel rooms, and follow an elaborate and expensive skincare routine. In general, they are incredibly productive and leverage their digital presence to build a strong brand in the current neoliberalism.

The importance lies not in what they are doing, but in where and why they are doing this. Why do these trends appear? Why is the number of videos of this trend increasing? Are these girls‘ exhibition of their intimacies?

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When work and home crossed

The concept #ThatGirl is a trend which first appeared on TikTok (although it’s also on YouTube). Mimí Granizo, a writer and freelance content creator, defined #ThatGirl as a set of videos in which young girls share their daily routines in a visually appealing and attractive aesthetic.

According to Google Trends, its popularity reached its peak between December 2021 and January 2022. When the COVID-19 pandemic started, we were forced into lockdown. The content creator, Jordan Theresa, in her video titled let’s talk about ‚that girl‘ explains the lockdown consequences and the progressive importance of remote jobs.

In some video titles, expressions such as “how to become the best version of yourself” or “how to take care of yourself” appear. For this reason, these trends focused on how to deal with the new pandemic reality and how to organise your home, which is now your workplace as well. In jobs like influencer and content creator, houses resemble a set for a recording, similar to the movie The Truman Show (1998).

What happened with intimacy

We see them waking up, having showers in their bathrooms, eating in their kitchens, and doing their daily tasks. Through those images, we can obtain sensitive information. Not only what they consume (look at their large fridges), not only their estimated financial capital (look at the prices of the products in their skincare routine), but also their address with ease.

Here, the point is not to discuss the data issue on the digital; rather, the aim is to try to understand what can signify their intimacy. Paula Sibilia, an anthropologist and Professor at the Department of Cultural Studies and Media at the Universidade Federal Fluminense (Rio de Janeiro), discusses intimacy in the digital space in her book Intimacy as Spectacle (2008).

Intimacy and self-knowledge

Sibilia claims that intimacy is a social construction. Its importance becomes apparent with the emergence of the bourgeoisie and the expansion of the home as the ideal private space. At home, one can be far from others, safe and quiet. When one is calm, one can think more clearly. Sibilia adds the importance of the diaries and writing in this process. She argues that writing down our thoughts and experiences in private spaces – such as our bedrooms – is a way to gain a deeper understanding of ourselves.

Sibilia remembers that it was not having one’s own room that Virginia Woolf argues is a reason why women didn’t write good novels. However, right now, the classical Virginia Woolf’s own room has been converted into a connected space. A concept that Remedios Zafra (2010), a Spanish writer and teacher, worked on in recent years.

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Extimate diaries

Although Sibilia has written her book before the social media crash and trends such as #ThatGirl, her approaches match perfectly with their dynamics. She argues that we still discuss intimacy, but in different ways.

Content creators are, nowadays, in their new connected houses. There, they create diaries, but instead of writing in them, they record themselves and their thoughts. Diaries are now audiovisual, instead of textual, as Sibilia indicates. We don’t see how intimacy is lost. Sibilia claims that they still have intimacy, but it is to the outside, to the others, to their followers. She uses the concept of “extimacy”, proposed by Jacques Lacan. Through this term, an intimacy with the exterior is highlighted.

Digital and performance

In a 2010 conference, Mark Zuckerberg, CEO of Meta, stated that public life is the new social rule. Facebook was born as a social media platform based on friendships, but in practical use, it challenged traditional concepts of friendship and personal privacy. Thus, instead of starting from the welcoming community, Zuckerberg started from the individuality that becomes visible.

In the case of #ThatGirls, it can be seen how this dynamic is applied. They show their routines in the privacy of their houses. On some occasions, they attempt to create a literal manual with specific practices for #ThatGirl. They claim that with these performative practices, anyone can be one of those girls.

The key here is what Sibilia states about these kinds of particular videos. According to her, they expose their intimacy because digital is the new way to create a personality and to connect with other people. Parasocial relationships are the majority, as Zuckerberg said earlier.

From platform to policy

The new practices on social media, as well as the emergence of new jobs, have been a concern to citizens and political parties. Not only related to the consequences of our digital footprint, but also to the correct use of advertising.

The European Commission, for instance, has proposed the Digital Services Act package. The aim of this package is to provide a guide on best practices in the digital environment. Thus, content creators and consumers can keep their rights in the democratic system, particularly in relation to transparency, platform accountability, and fair advertising practices.

In the case of trends like #ThatGirl, their popularity is proof that people are interested in connecting with others on a more intimate level. However, discussions about the implications of these practices are crucial for understanding new realities and protecting ourselves.